Dear Dr. Milrod:

About 10 days ago, I was traveling with a co-worker from another office. On the last night, we got drunk and ended up in bed with each other. When I got her clothes off, she told me that she was still breastfeeding her 4-month old child. So I just went for her breasts. We had one incredible night of lovemaking that included me suckling her breasts and feeding from her. She fed me several times and I must have had a fairly large quantity of milk. The feelings of it, the taste, being inside of her while nursing from her, were all incredible experiences. Now, I fantasize all the time about meeting someone who is still breastfeeding. What do you think is going on with that?

Gerber

Dear Gerber:

Sigmund Freud and certainly Melanie Klein, another psychoanalytic theorist, would have written pages upon pages about your ‘oral stage fixation.’ I’ll just say that it’s a normal human variation on what we all find exciting. It is natural and healthy for humans of both genders to be drawn to nipples. In addition, when lactating women are suckled, the polypeptide hormone oxytocin is released, thereby making the woman feel relaxed, affectionate and yes – she may even climax from this activity alone. As for the nutritional aspect itself, it most likely plays a lesser part. I sincerely hope you eat well in your daily life, so it isn’t about nutrition. But it is about receiving something that is normally reserved for others. A little of the ‘forbidden fruit’ aspect – or, or in this case, forbidden milk! It’s a gift, on both ends of the spectrum. For some men, the thought of using the breast as a food source is unthinkable and carries no erotic aspect whatsoever. For others, it becomes the pinnacle of eroticism, an experience of complete containment and bliss, going way back to the infant-mother symbiotic stage.

Christine Milrod, Ph.D.