Shy testicles?

Dear Dr. Milrod:

Is there anything that can be done to prevent my testicles and scrotum from disappearing when I am with a woman? The room is warm, I’ve just taken a hot shower and still I’m almost as smooth as a Ken doll. I love to have my testicles and scrotum licked and sucked, but when they do their disappearing act it’s frustrating.

Smooth Operator

Dear Smooth Operator:

You need to relax your cremaster muscle! Retractile testes result from hyperactivity of the cremaster muscle that causes retraction of the testicle into the inguinal canal. With gentle manipulation, your testicles can go into the scrotum, where they will stay when the cremaster muscle is relaxed.

Here’s a textbook explanation of that wondrous muscle you may not know you had: The cremaster muscle is a muscle that covers the testicles. Its function is to raise and lower the scrotum in order to regulate the temperature of the testicles and promote spermatogenesis. In a cool environment the cremaster draws the testcles closer to the body preventing heat loss, while when it is warmer the cremaster relaxes allowing the testicles to cool.

The interesting thing is that the psychoanalytic literature documents a case of cremaster muscle activity and ensuing retraction of the testicles during intense dream activity. So it seems that those spasms could be the result of a little case of “nerves?”

So, you can visit the urologist for a more detailed investigation, or you can ask yourself if you are at all nervous or tense before engaging with a woman. Is it the same woman over and over, or new ones all the time? Maybe you need to relax and feel a little more comfortable? On the other hand, from an aesthetical perspective, many women find a small scrotum with two tiny testicles inside very sexy and attractive. Look at all the statues of the male ideal from the antiquities. The whole genital configuration is always depicted like a beautiful flower, like a piece of delicious candy, ready to be nibbled. If that bugs you, then you might want to engage in some relaxation exercises before doing the nasty. Or, as stated before, make an appointment with a specialist to find out if this is something that can’t be corrected.

Christine Milrod, Ph.D.

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