Short man, tall girl – could it work?

Dear Dr. Milrod:

I am 5’7″ and have normally kept my dates to that height or less. But there are so many really beautiful women that are taller than this, plus with the popularity of really high heels, a 5’5″ lady wearing 6-inchers becomes almost 6 feet tall. Should I even begin to ask out taller women or am I doomed?


Dear Napoleon:

This is one of those issues where evolutionary issues, culture and the eyes of the beholder all create a mix of preferences that are NOT etched in stone. I say this because so many women have a picture of their ultimate Prince Charming in mind and then whammo, along comes someone completely dissimilar from this ideal and sweeps the unsuspecting lady off her feet. In general, women tend to prefer a man who is at least a few inches taller, mainly for the reason you mention, plus the fact that in general, men are taller and larger than women if they have the same ethnic background. Research also shows that on the average, men who are considered taller in their culture take home bigger paychecks. On the other hand, true love and sincere feelings are not fueled by cash. If  you really want a woman who is sincerely captivated by you, she won’t care one iota if you are 5’7 and she is 5’10. We see this with so many celebrities not only in the entertainment industry, but also in politics, science and the classical arts. This means that if you have something interesting to say, if you display confidence and ease, if you truly believe in yourself and can present yourself as warm, kind but someone who is not needy or craving a woman’s attention, then you certainly have a chance at landing someone equally nice and worthwhile to spend time with. The same rules apply to men of any height who are going on a first date: Keep fit and healthy, dress well and let the conversation be a give and take. Don’t be an attention-hogger but also don’t act obsequious. Be a gentleman, first and foremost. That’s what women fall for, no matter their height or yours.

Christine Milrod, Ph.D.

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