Dear Dr. Milrod:

I had my prostate removed and cannot get an erection. I climax but do not ejaculate, and am somewhat limited to fingers and tongue. Any ideas as to what kinky and fun things I might be able to enjoy? Of course my female partner needs to enjoy it also?

Eric Tion

Dear Eric Tion:

It seems that you still have sensation in your genitals, even though erection might be difficult to achieve. There are women out there who just love to provide fellatio, erections be damned. If your partner is one of them, she will happily suck away, as long as you enjoy the activity itself. Then there’s good ole’ 69, of course. And anal rimming, if you should be so disposed and willing to use a sheet of latex or minimum SaranWrap to protect your mouth (and hers, if she is the one licking you). Yes, you are right – most of this involves fingers and tongues. And why not get some sex toy, like a juicy vibrator, and use on your lady of the moment? While she fellates you? She can also tickle your penis with a feather. In addition, some women, perhaps more senior ladies, actually prefer endless foreplay and a minimum of penile insertion. Some women do not climax vaginally at all. They are 100% clitoral, and for them, a guy equipped with fingers and tongue like you is the ultimate dreamboy.

Christine Milrod, Ph.D.