Dear Dr. Milrod:

I have been flirting with an attractive co-worker. We have been hugging in an erotic way. Luckily were both single, so this doesn’t bother me at all – I actually welcome it. I sometime get embarrassed when I see the bulge in my pants. My little head wants to give into her and have sex, but my big head says “no, because you would only want her for sex.” Do you have any advice on controlling my spontaneous erections without having sex with her. I feel that one day I might give in to her and have sex, although I am trying to stay strong.

Jim in Tampa

Dear Jim in Tampa:

Sex between co-workers is considered unethical and grounds for termination, particularly if others get wind of this and call it “sexual harassment” [yes, I know, anything that your colleagues might object to can fall into this category these days]. Consequences of this are not pretty – the “offenders” usually get hauled in by superiors and given stern warnings. And if you’re the boss – good grief, cease and desist immediately.

Your erections should be controlled by fear of termination, suspension, lawsuits, rumors, and general embarrassment, should your little potential tête–à–tête become fodder for gossip and innuendos. In the meantime, please try to engage in a different type of social interaction: check social networking sites, engage in tennis, golf or other athletic pursuits, or attend cultural events – anything to distract you from complicating your life to the point of losing your job.

Christine Milrod, Ph.D.