Dear Dr. Milrod:

What is the fascination for men regarding women who are exhibitionists?

Curious Cat

Dear Curious Cat:

I am not so sure that men are so unequivocally fascinated with women who are exhibitionists. Depending on the male, he can also experience embarrassment, shame and a fair amount of jealousy in the face of a female exhibitionist.

Of course, if the man is not connected with her personally, then he may get turned on. It’s sort of the same logic that operates when a man sees a woman who has exaggerated female features that signal fertility: swollen, puffy lips, very large breasts, a posterior that protrudes, etc. Of course most heterosexual men will look at such a woman, but will they marry her or bring her home to Mama? Not usually – and the research bears this out.

So with exhibitionistic women who try to attract attention, yes, they will get it from men, but will they get “respect?” Granted, this may seem a little retrograde in terms of reasoning, but ask around and you shall find. A man may find fascination in an exhibitionist because any woman who puts herself “on display” signals “sexual availability.” Take a walk down Bourbon Street in New Orleans and you’ll see it in action, with breasts flashing and the sticking out of the tongues. But there certainly is a time and place for everything and men are not so dense that they don’t get that point.

Christine Milrod, Ph.D.