Dear Dr. Milrod:

Can you reveal any tricks to hold off an orgasm or have multiple orgasms without softening, that tantric practitioners seem to refer to? I find that when I am having sex, I really enjoy getting to the edge and trying to stay there without ejaculating. Unfortunately, most times, this does not last long and I blow too quickly! I have tried jerking off just prior to intercourse but then it takes a little while to get hard. I sort of stay semi-hard, which is okay because fortunately, I am reasonably well endowed but the sensation is not great. Then I find that I get the real hard-on only just before ejaculation. How can I be able to orgasm “at will?”

Doug Darby

Dear Doug Darby:

Oftentimes, men develop their own tricks to prolong matters. Whatever they may be, all these methods/devices need to be practiced regularly in order for them to have some success. Two documented practices are the “stop-start” and the “squeeze” technique.

They are executed as follows:

The Start-Stop should begin with manual stimulation and work up to sexual intercourse. Repeat until premature ejaculation is under control. The technique is simple and it can be practiced alone or with a partner. The man is stimulated until he feels himself approaching orgasm and then stops at that point. He then waits for the sensations to stop, and then the man starts all over again. This should then be repeated a number of times each practice session, and the technique should be practiced regularly.

The squeeze technique consists of applying pressure to the base or the head of the penis to prevent premature ejaculation. There is a muscle behind the testicles; when exercised regularly, it can aid in stopping ejaculation. The muscle is called the PC (pubococcygeus) muscle. This muscle is the one you use to prevent yourself from urinating, also commonly known as the muscle you tense when “doing your Kegels.” You can practice your Kegels anytime, but tensing your PC muscle any time during a red light while driving seems useful for many people.

Christine Milrod, Ph.D.