Dear Dr. Milrod:

I’m 37, running a division for a company and report to a famous CEO who’s actually in the press alot lately. I recently broke up with someone who was putting the pressure on to get married, but, great and beautiful as she is I just don’t want to get married right now, call it what you want: commitment issues, peter pan syndrome…whatever. I know myself and marriage doesn’t concern me nearly as much as divorce would being I’m not ready. If I felt couldn’t live without her I’d be at Tiffany’s right now.  Anyway, my boss recently pulled me aside and wanted to know the same thing and I had to tell him that relationship was done.
He expressed he was sorry to hear that and that his wife would definitely be looking to match make for me.  He knows I don’t need that but as he reminded me, that’s not gonna stop his wife and said I better handle that and don’t say he didn’t warn me.  They have an annual bash next month and frankly, I don’t want to bring a girl who’s gonna turn it into becoming my next SO. I’m leaning towards making arrangements with a top dollar pro who can handle herself and give my boss’s wife some pause I don’t need the “help.”  But she’d have to be polished and smart or I’d be a dead man.  It’s risky. For instance I could unwittingly pick somebody whose clients are half the male guests at the party that weekend for all I’d know.  I’m being dramatic but, it’s to stress the need for prudence.  A good friend of my boss was splashed all over one of our paper’s last year for his involvement with someone who outed him after the event. We’re talking front page. My understanding is that guy is still in the doghouse at work and of course at home  for getting involved with someone who allowed it to get out in this way. Meanwhile, I did just get out of a relationship and know I’m not altogether thinking clearly in this area of my life, but know I don’t want to be in an exclusive relationship for a while either. So, I would like an objective opinion from you, Dr. M. Would this be a stupid move, or, is there a syntax to doing my homework to pick someone who’d be what I’m talking about.  Thanks in advance for your feedback.

Wage Slave

Dear Wage Slave,

My opinion is not objective in the least – but it’s at least as authentic as I am asking you to be in front of your boss.
First of all, what does your boss have to do with your own personal, private life? Bosses have gone down for less, in terms of getting “involved” in subordinates’ personal matters. And his WIFE???!!! What kind of company is this, where THE WIFE gets involved?!?

Now it’s time for me to be dramatic: DO NOT BRING ANYONE TO THIS ‘OUTING!’ By not bringing anyone, you will be making this grandiose statement: ‘I am an individual who is in charge of my own personal affairs.’ What a concept, huh??!! It is 2010; with this new millennium, we have gone beyond bosses and their wives making ‘matches’ for all of us. From a Human Resources and Company Policy perspective, it is objectionable, uncalled for and outright bad business to mix personal and business matters. On another note: what if you were gay? Would your boss be as inclined to lament your current state of singlehood?! You seem like a sharp tack, so why do you even care? And no, I don’t think you should bring an escort, just to satisfy your clueless CEO.

So there you have it, Wage Slave. There is no posterior worthy of suction in this manner – I don’t care what division it is. In fact, this CEO is in trouble if he persists in mingling with your personal life.

Christine Milrod, PhD