Dear Dr. Milrod:<\/p>\n
I’m a young guy, only 30, but not exactly in the best shape (230+ lbs). \u00a0For a long time, I was good for two orgasms in an hour, but over the last year, that’s gone down to one.\u00a0I guess, as they say, it’s the quality not quantity that counts. \u00a0Knowing I can’t get off a second time in an hour, I usually hold out as long as possible.\u00a0So the other night I was with a woman, having a great time. Maybe I held out to long, but she tried to finish me off with a blowjob. I think I got too sensitive and went limp after I had asked her for a condom.\u00a0In fact, I couldn’t even put on the condom. Now maybe I am over-obsessing about it, because I couldn’t understand how I couldn’t get it up to finish with a astoundingly beautiful naked woman in front of me. Not being able to finish twice in an hour has happened to me before, but not finishing once has never happened. \u00a0Maybe it’s normal to go limp from oversensitivity, but before even ejaculating once? Am I overanalyzing this? I’m feeling like less than a man and if I had the opportunity, I’d go back right now and finish what I began, no matter how long it took.<\/p>\n
Unreal<\/p>\n
Dear Unreal:<\/p>\n
Yes, you are probably overanalyzing, mostly from sheer shock and disbelief! All of this is normal, although media and overinflated egos would have you believe that men are Automated Eveready Stallions, ready to stand guard and pop at the slightest provocation!<\/p>\n
The brain is truly a wondrous organ. Believe it or not, the slightest, oddest, weirdest, seemingly most insignificant thing can break a man’s concentration and lead to loss of erection. Is it normal to go limp from oversensitivity? Yes. Very. Is it normal to overobsess about it if you’re 30 years old and it never really happened before? Yes. Very.<\/p>\n
Now as to your frequency of ejaculation, weight and age could have something to do with it. Depending on your height and muscle mass, 230 lbs. could be too much to carry on your frame. Will excess weight affect your sex life? Yes, most definitely. Your heart and lungs will have to work harder to get going. It is definitely possible that your body is working too hard to keep up with a shorter refractory period. So if you can, try to modify your eating habits, and above all, please try to hit the gym, or even just walk for 20 minutes every day. Hit the stairs at work, chase the dog and run around the block, anything to get your heart muscle into habitual workouts. This is not so you can come twice; this is so you can come happily in your lifetime, for a long time. As to feeling less like a man, don’t even consider it. In fact, judging from the situation, you are like most men on the planet. But please try to use this incident as a wakeup call for getting physically healthy. Secondary diabetes, high BP and their accompanying meds will affect your sex life in a much bigger way than the occasional downer from party hats and holding it in too long.<\/p>\n
Christine Milrod, Ph.D.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear Dr. Milrod: I’m a young guy, only 30, but not exactly in the best shape (230+ lbs). \u00a0For a long time, I was good for two orgasms in an hour, but over the last year, that’s gone down to one.\u00a0I guess, as they say, it’s the quality not quantity that counts. \u00a0Knowing I can’t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-599","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-qa"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sexandlifecoaching.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/599","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sexandlifecoaching.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sexandlifecoaching.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sexandlifecoaching.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sexandlifecoaching.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=599"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/sexandlifecoaching.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/599\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":773,"href":"https:\/\/sexandlifecoaching.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/599\/revisions\/773"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sexandlifecoaching.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=599"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sexandlifecoaching.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=599"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sexandlifecoaching.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=599"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}