I want my uncle’s wife – my aunt!

Dear Dr. Milrod:

I think I like my maternal uncle’s wife – my aunt. She is too sexy to resist and I always think about her and fantasize about having sex with her. What should I do? I am confused whether to tell her that I want her or just carry on masturbating thinking of her. Please help!


Dear Esau:

You are neither the first nor the last person who has developed an attraction for an individual in your familial sphere. Of course, what complicates matters is that she is your uncle’s wife. All of this depends on what your relationship is to your family in general, and your uncle in particular. You are not describing anything about it, so my overarching position on this, without knowing any details, would be the following:

1. Do not discuss your attraction with your uncle or aunt. Unless she has made specific sexual overtures to you and flat out told you that she wants to engage in a sexual relationship, it would be potentially damaging and quite counterproductive to share these physical urges with any of your relatives.

2. Seek professional counseling to explore this issue. Begin an honest dialogue with yourself in the presence of an empathic and understanding professional.

3. I would also suggest trying to broaden your spectrum of attraction when masturbating. Is she seriously the only one you can think of? Again, my questions to you would revolve around your social life in general, and your love life in particular. Are you in a sexual and emotional relationship with another woman? Are there other women at all in your life?

More questions, even if you ask them of yourself, will generate answers. But, this is my motto: “When in doubt, do nothing.” So don’t do anything, until you have explored the issue between yourself and yourself on a deep and mature level.

Christine Milrod, Ph.D.

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